


you'll only be a moment away.

by drywitticisms



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Emotional Infidelity, F/M, Mutual Pining, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:20:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25240762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drywitticisms/pseuds/drywitticisms
Summary: Angelica is back from London and it's the first time Alexander has seen her since she married John Church and moved to London, and a private, eye-opening, intense conversation occurs.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/Angelica Schuyler
Comments: 8
Kudos: 58





	you'll only be a moment away.

**Author's Note:**

> This piece takes place during “Take A Break.” I imagine the sisters didn’t leave right after the song, so I’m taking creative licence here by assuming that the trip takes at least a day so they plan on leaving bright and early the next morning. This conversation takes place the night before the sisters make the trip to their parents’ house. I guess you could imagine it as a deleted scene, of sorts. 
> 
> Anyway, enjoy! (And yes, if you've read this exact same story over on Wattpad, that's my account over there. So no, no one has stolen this story. I've posted it on both sites.)
> 
> DISCLAIMER: This is a Hamgelica fic through and through; if you're reading this in the hopes of some other pairing being placed center stage, you took a wrong turn somewhere and should probably turn back right now. Take heed of the tags; they tell you all you need to know without giving everything away.

"Did you miss me?"

The question lingered in the air for a split second before his mind kicked into overdrive. Her words became all the little puzzle pieces he needed to create the perfect picture.

She may never know what the sound of her voice, her breath, and her presence did to him. 

Or maybe she did know but was far too gracious to say anything.

Angelica was a woman to be revered and loved, but she was also a woman who cared more about her loved ones than she did her own self.

So much so that if she knew of her brother in law's feelings for her, she never let on in fear of destroying a happy home.

Uprooting her sister's life was a grave sin in her eyes. 

Then again, she was far more stronger than him. Strong enough to carry the burdens of whatever feelings they may have for each other. And strong enough to keep them hidden while in the presence of her sister, his wife, _his Eliza_. 

It was far more than he deserved and he never allowed himself to forget it. 

Angelica could do what he couldn't; he didn't know how to hide what he felt for her in the presence of his Eliza, and he knew she wasn't stupid.

Eliza wasn't blind but she never said anything.

He was a selfish man. He loved Eliza. He loved her truly and dearly, but Angelica was his soulmate. He looked at her and saw himself in her eyes. In her being.

"Miss you?" Alexander incredulously repeated. 

_How could she even ask that? Of course he missed her_. 

He **longed** for her. 

There was always this deep, dull ache in the pit of his belly that seemed to get worse whenever she was away. Whenever she hadn't written him in some time. 

"Don't tell me I've broken you." Angelica replied with a small laugh. 

"No, you didn't." He uttered, "But I've missed you so much that it hurts."

A large smile stretched across her face at his answer, but she chose not to reply.

"Well, it seems as if I did break you because you haven't even hugged me yet."

At her words, he quickly stood to his feet from his desk.

He was determined to convince the Congress of his future plans for the country, but that was no reason for him to forget his manners. 

Striding towards her, he wrapped his arms around her back. He didn't fully relax until he felt her hug him back.

Deeply inhaling her scent, everything was right in his world again. 

Everything suddenly felt _right_. 

Alexander hadn't seen her since she told him of her upcoming nuptials but he missed her every day. 

He thought of her every day, and nothing that was going on in his professional life could distract him from his thoughts of her.

He knew it was wrong but it didn't **feel** wrong; it felt like the only thing that currently made sense in his life.

They hadn't actually done anything, but he knew his feelings for Angelica weren't of the brotherly sort.

In that moment, Angelica slowly pulled back from his embrace. 

Meeting her eyes, he stood still as she studied his face seemingly committing it to memory. 

_What are you thinking? What's going on in that beautiful mind?_

"You look like you haven't been sleeping." She replied.

"You could always see right through me." He said with a small smirk.

"That's what happens when you find someone who matches your wits. You can fool everyone else but you can never fool me." Angelica said with a playful wink.

Alexander felt a pang in his belly.

It was always so easy to be smitten with Angelica. 

His love for Eliza was a slow trickle that transformed into a massive ocean of ebbs and flows. Whereas his love for Angelica started out as a small flame before transforming into a large, uncontrollable brush fire.

Two very different women who garnered two different emotions from him, but two women who could pull such strong reactions from him nonetheless. 

Smiling at him, she removed herself from his embrace and floated towards his desk.

He didn’t dare take his eyes off her. It was almost as if he was afraid that she’d disappear. He was afraid that all of this would have been a dream - a dream that he didn’t want to wake from.

“May I ask the reason for this special visit?”

“Is it a crime to come and see my sister and my favorite brother-in-law?” She quipped.

“Of course not, I was just curious."

“I've missed you guys. Your letters weren't enough." Angelica trailed off as if remembering something before finding her bearings, "Anyway, this visit was long overdue and Eliza agreed."

“I guess some things must remain between sisters.” Alexander replied with a knowing smirk.

"If that's the way you see it."

The air suddenly grew more dense. It was almost like his breath was shortening as he continued to look upon her.

They were a few feet away from each other, but it was almost as if he could feel her breath on his skin.

“How is your husband?”

He watched as her smile dimmed, and that minute change in her expression told him everything he needed to know.

“He’s great. Our marriage has ensured that I will live in comfort until my dying days. It’s what I’ve always wanted.” She said with forced brightness.

He knew there was something else she wasn’t telling him. Something she wouldn’t dare utter in his presence, but he didn’t want to pry. 

He didn't want her to clam up. He'd just gotten her back; he didn't want to ruin their reunion. 

But he knew she wasn’t happy. He knew she wasn’t **satisfied**. 

Alexander knew Angelica more than she would care to admit; she was just like _him_. He knew when she wasn't happy.

Eliza hadn’t said anything, but it was possible that even she didn’t know the true state of her oldest sister’s happiness. 

"I wasn’t expecting to hear of your nuptials so soon, but I wasn’t surprised. Of course I knew some intelligent chap with a mind at work would ask for your hand in marriage."

"And he did!" She exclaimed brightly. _Too_ brightly. 

It was in that moment he knew she was falling apart inside. Her world was crashing down around her, and she had no one to catch her.

Except he could catch her. If she would let him. 

He wanted to. He wanted to do for her what she often did for him. 

Taking a few small steps toward her as to not frighten her, he wasn't sure what he would do once he got there but he didn't care.

She was no longer looking at him; she was now mindlessly rifling through some papers on his desk.

"Angelica." Alexander said gently placing his hand over hers to stop her fidgeting.

He watched as she stared down at their hands.

Looking up at him, he could see the sadness swirling in those gorgeous brown eyes. Those eyes could stop the world from spinning. She could command him to do anything and he would do it with no questions asked.

But his heart hurt to see that those brown eyes weren’t as bright and lively as they once were.

"You're not happy, are you?" 

"Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?" She asked defensively removing her hand from his grip.

"Angelica, you don’t have to lie to me.. Remember what you said? When you find someone who can match your wits, you can fool everyone else but you can't fool me." He replied throwing her words back at her like a tidal wave.

He saw her walls come down in response to his words.

"It's awful, Alexander! He's so dull. His eyes are lifeless. There's no intelligence there. When I talk about John Locke, he gets this glazed over look in his eyes like he can’t be bothered." Angelica confessed.

"He may not have a thirst for knowledge in the ways that you wish, but maybe other things could take priority in the ways that count." Alexander offered, "He loves you, and you love him. That's all that truly matters." 

"And what if love is not enough?" She whispered faintly.

If he wasn't holding onto her every word like a sad sap, then he may not have heard her.

"Sometimes, we do what we must. We all have a duty." Alexander quietly replied.

Angelica simply stared at him with an unreadable expression before nodding. What he said was important, but what he didn't say was far more telling. 

She could read between the lines. 

He was crying out to her, and she extended an olive branch. 

"How is my sister?" Angelica asked. 

"She's happy. She's content." 

"And what about you?"

"I'm content."

"But are you happy?"

"Remember when you felt those butterflies when you thought I'd made an error in our letters with that pesky comma?"

She nodded wordlessly.

"What I feel, feels nothing like that." He confessed. "Is it happiness? A very muted, dull version of the word, but yes. I am happy."

"I see." Angelica said.

He didn't know what she was thinking in that moment and it bothered him. 

There were times where they could have an entire conversation without saying a word. But then there were times where she hid from him and he couldn't figure her out. 

With Eliza, her feelings were written all over her face. She was always so open and compassionate. He always knew where he stood with her, and he loved her for it.

With Angelica, it was just **different**. 

She was a mystery to him sometimes. He knew it had something to do with the fact that he was married to her sister, but it never failed to irritate him. 

Angelica was smart and quick-witted. She wouldn't allow him to see everything, especially if she knew it could lead to them hurting the one person they both loved. 

"You should come with us." Angelica softly replied.

"You know I can't." He said apologetically. 

He didn't like disappointing her but it couldn't be helped. He needed to finish his work, but the offer sounded intensely appealing. 

"Okay, I'll give you this one. But the next time I come, you need to put the quill away and spend time with the people who love you."

“Hopefully, you won’t hold this against me.” He said.

“Of course not! Just as long as you never stop sending me those letters of yours then you will never truly disappoint me.” She confessed.

He felt that feeling again - that weird, mushy feeling that took his breath away.

“You’ve made me a happy man.” He said, “All I ask is that you ensure that my wife enjoys herself and forgets that she has a fool for a husband stuck at home crouching over a desk.”

“Don’t worry, I will.” She said.

With that, Angelica moved away from his desk and walked towards the door. Placing her hand on the knob, she stopped in her tracks.

Turning back to him, she spoke, “Alexander, I meant what I said earlier - it is really good to see your face again.”

She didn’t wait for a response as she turned the knob and stepped out of the room closing the door behind her.

Once he knew she was gone, Alexander allowed himself to lean against his desk for balance before releasing a deep, cleansing breath.

_Fuck!_

**Author's Note:**

> Well … what did you think? Let me know! The Hamilton hype train skipped over me when it initially came out, so I never had a Hamilton phase. I guess it’s better late than never, right? Anyway, I love this ship so much and I have so many ideas for stories. I’m already working on another Hamgelica fanfic; it’s a modern AU, and my muse has been working overtime to help me churn out these chapters.
> 
> If you like this, then you may love that one. I can’t say for sure, but I think you will. I don’t know when I’m gonna publish it. With the way I write, you guys may get another one-shot before you get that fic but we’ll see how it goes.


End file.
